Maybe I’m just picky.

Don’t assume anything about “me” that you wouldn’t want to be assumed about yourself. While I may not have men running to me in droves, I DO have my fair share of “choices.” Some good, some not so good. But one thing that I’ve always prided myself on is the fact that I was NEVER willing to accept a half of a third of a PIECE of a man, just to be able to say that I have one.

Although this is sort of riding off the coat tails of the issues related to Julia Hudson and her “boo,” William Balfour, I have wanted to write about this for the longest.

One thing that I am utterly disgusted by is that…in the black community, we as black women have a tendency to accept no good ass dudes just because. Is it because we feel that this dude can provide us with some “hoodrich” D-Boy lifestyle? Is it because we want to rebel against what most of us were taught when it came down to the principles of choosing a good man? Or is it that we just want to be able to shout “Been there, done that,” all while claiming that a lil’ thug swagger makes our pussies wet with desire? I just don’t get it.

I won’t spend a lot of time focusing on women with children but I will say that if you have a child and you’re still “dating” around in hopes of finding the right one, you should REALLY practice some level of precaution. Even if you don’t give a damn about your own life, at least pretend to care about the life of your child.

I am so annoyed with many of the stories that I have to post on Project New Era, and not because I hate what I’ve chosen to do but b/c I am sick of seeing the same repetitive behavior from our sisters. We so desperately want to have that fairytale lifestyle that many of us will accept the hard-up criminals, the low lifes, the child molesters, the drug dealers…all while passing up a that good brotha that has a college education, doesn’t have kids running to the east and west of the damn Mason Dixon, that knows how to pull a chair out for you to have a seat or agrees to treat you with respect at every turn.

Love is not cursing you out or calling you a bitch b/c you’re not on the “get right.”

Love is not slanging drugs in the streets, killing our people, and spending that money on you.

Love is not accepting the fact that he just ain’t shit and won’t ever be shit. And trust me, sista, your desire to TRY and change him will only prove FRUITLESS on your part, so why bother?

Love is not supporting the fact that he is trying to go after some non-existent rap career and refuses to get a job, until. In supporting this type of nonsense, you’re also supporting the fact that he’ll never EVER be able to step up and be a REAL MAN and take care of his responsibilities. And don’t let him tell you that you aren’t his “Bonnie,” and that you don’t really love him. You can’t call up the rent office and say “Hey, I don’t have any money to pay my rent this month, but I sure have a lot of love. Will you take that?” Try spitting that same bullshit to the power company and see won’t you and your lil MC Such & Such be sitting in the dark.

I do believe that people can change and to those “thugs” who do, I commend your efforts. But this ain’t about you. This entry is about women who don’t value themselves enough to BELIEVE…to KNOW in their heart of hearts, that they deserve more. I get so SICK of hearing stories of women who get with these no good ass dudes but end up six feet under because she thought that her name was Renata Rehabilitate. I get so FRUSTRATED about hearing of these children who are molested or land six feet under b/c of their mother’s dumb ass decision to try and “work it out” with a dude that has 4 felonies, one of which includes a drug charge, an attempted murder charge and the other two, sexual assaults against females.

“OH but I love him, tho.”

Well, learn to love your damn self….b/c when you choose NOT to, there are other people who have to suffer.

Ladies, love is great. That fairytale lifestyle is truly one in a million. But please believe that you absolutely positively DO NOT have to settle for an ‘enth of a man, just to say that you have one.

And if you CHOOSE to do so, how much of YOURSELF do you think you’ll have left?

Stop settling, black women….real talk!

J