I have been perusing several blogs. Reading a blog is something that I enjoy doing far more than watching one on Youtube. This is how the whole blogging thing began for me anyway.

Nonetheless, at many of the blogs (both male and female), I am noticing that quite a few bloggers are talking about Beyonce’s song, Single Ladies (Put a Ring On It) and it brings the debate about Black women, their relationships with Black men and possibilities of marriage.

I read this post and felt the need to add my two cents (maybe four).

Although I listened to Beyonce’s song and thought of it as mere entertainment, I can say that what she’s saying has some truth. Every person that you meet and go on a few dates with is not marriage material. There will be several that you’ll have the opportunity to ‘kick it’ with but it will fizz or never evolve into the real thing. But then there are those dates that you have that turn into an extended thing. In my ever so humble opinion, there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with discussing from the door what your expectations are in a relationship. I think that it’s important to put those things on the line b/c not ‘knowing’ beforehand will cause SOMEBODY to have a broken heart at the end of it all.

When I first moved to Atlanta, I came here with a ‘boyfriend.’ I say that in quotes b/c I can’t honestly say that we had a real title. And anytime I brought that subject up, there was a problem. As mentioned in the blog link that I posted above, anytime a man gets clammy, upset or nervous at the thought of talking about a commitment, it’s not a good idea to get your hopes up too high about the possibilities of anything long term with that person. A man (or a woman) knows what they do and don’t want…but if expressing those wants is an issue, then more than likely, he/she is not the one that you want to be with. I spent a good year and half convincing myself that if I stayed around long enough and loved that dude hard enough, he’d eventually come around and we’d most certainly be spending the rest of our lives together.

I couldn’t have been more wrong. I don’t consider my time with him as time wasted b/c it taught me several good lessons. It was also the last time that I was stuck on stupid for a dude. Now, I am somewhat jaded…I don’t take dating so seriously unless I’m interested, for one and two, he has expressed the same sentiments.

I am a firm believer that if you are dating someone long term, it’s best to put the ideas of your future out there so that everything is clear. I don’t think that anyone should just ‘settle’ on being the girlfriend of 5 years who also happens to be the mother of your child. Totally unacceptable.

I just don’t get the big uproar that follows songs that women regard as anthems. If you’re with a dude for a while and he’s acting like he ‘don’t like it,’ why stick around? Is society that sick and twisted that there is a belief that women should simply accept anything that’s thrown their way and totally disregard their own happiness?

While I won’t rush it, I will say that if you like it, you better at least TALK about putting a ring on it. Otherwise, you’ll find me two stepping out the door. I am not about to be the Goldie Hawn to a damn Kurt Russell (look it up).

Peace