So I posted a letter on the Miss Jia blog from Mashonda who is the wife of producer, Swizz Beatz. In it, she basically tells Alicia Keys that she “knows what she did” regarding the dissolution of her marriage to Swizz.
What I am most surprised at are the responses in which folks are telling her to ‘let it go.’ Seriously, people? Yes, her relationship with Swizz may very well be over and that may be well and good for Alicia. But how many of you would be so quick to let it go if someone basically played a relationship out in your face? The one thing that I don’t agree with in Mashonda’s letter is that she didn’t really address Swizz. That’s another topic in my opinion. But one thing I can’t stand is a woman (and trust, there are MANY out there) who sits in your face and plots on your dude. If the guy wants to leave, he can go…it truly is what it is but for one chick to disrespect another chick on the strength of some peen is ridiculous to me. There are too many free agents in the world for a person to worry about someone who has already been drafted.
I also read a comment that stated (and I’m paraphrasing) ‘you can’t help who you fall in love with.” Says who? Now, if I meet a guy and he doesn’t disclose that he’s already taken, then at that point, I am loving him under the false pretense that he’s single. However, if he discloses to me that he is indeed involved and I choose to not only date him but allow the relationship to grow so that I do fall in love with him, then I’ve made a choice…and that choice is to love a man that I know can not fully belong to me.
Some of you women need to stop being so damn simple. Things are always gravy until the shit happens to you. At that point, you’re not so forgiving, are you?
I have been on both sides of the fence…no, I have NEVER helped a guy cheat on his girl (and trust, NEVER WILL). However, I have been that chick that got cheated on and the girl KNEW he and I were together. Yes, I got mad at him but I was also angry with her b/c even if you don’t really know me or owe me anything, social responsibility should teach you otherwise. As we learned in kindergarten, you don’t touch shit that doesn’t belong to you. You simple women should also keep in mind that the way you obtained a man can also be the same way you lose him. Not so pretty when that shoe fits the other foot…
I also can’t say that I fully stand behind Mashonda’s way of expressing her anger but how many of you participate in blog discussions (be they personal or entertainment affiliated) when someone’s gossip has been put on blast? What about sites that thrive, like DontDateHimGirl.com or JustDontWifeHer.com? Those types of things exist b/c of someone else being put on blast. If Mashonda felt that she had to write to clear the air so that she feels better about her own situation, who are we to judge? I get tired of people telling other people how to handle their emotions. This isn’t the break up of a little summer fling that took place by happenstance; this is the dissolution of a marriage that, according to Mashonda, was triggered by infidelity between her husband and an artist that she once respected.
In a couple of years, some of you will be married (if you’re not already). I pray that your relationships last forever without any issues (especially that of infidelity). But if for some reason your partner steps out and you were one of the ones saying “let it go,” I’d love to be emailed on how you chose to handle it. Again…kindergarten lessons meant something. Keep your hands to yourself b/c some things just ain’t worth being touched, especially if it does NOT belong to you!
COMMENTS
I agree, Alicia was dirty. I have lost a lot of respect for her. I thought Alicia was better than what she showed the world. I was wrong. I believe the ex-wife should have addressed the dirty, dirty she was married to AND Alicia. Alicia knew that man was married. This just go to show you that the women who appear to have it all (i.e. looks, $$, fame) really don’t. What a shame. Alicia should not feel too secure in her relationship with Swizz because Swizz can switch teams again whenever he chooses. I’m just waiting for this train wreck to end. I give Swizz/Alicia a year or two at best.
luckiestar:Bull shit….like you said JIA!”kindergarten lessons meant something. Keep your hands to yourself b/c some things just ain’t worth being touched, especially if it does NOT belong to you!” Word…lmao
ashleigh:JIa I totally agree! And I hate the fact that people are standing behind Alicia Keys just because she is a celebrity, actions like these show that celebrities are no better than everyday people. I feel sorry for Mashonda and Alicia Keys. I have lost a lot of respect for Alicia Keys so much of her music is about love and relationships and she ends up doing something like this, but then again none of us are perfect we all have our flaws/issues. I just hope they can all work things out!
Danielle:I have been on both sides of the fence. When I was cheated on, was I mad at the other chick? Hell yeah. But did I go to her saying ‘you knew we were together, how could you?’ Hell no. He is the one who was supposedly committed to me, not her. I definitely believe Alicia was wrong, but at the same time Swizz is the ass in this situation that broke his vows. As we have come to know, everybody doesn’t share the same values as the rest of us. Unfortunately some people feel as though they can lay claim to whatever they want. I was in a situation where a chick was trying to come between my relationship. She would flirt with him and every other man we worked with, so he would tell me it wasn’t serious. I told him I didn’t like what I was seeing and to decide whether he would continue to let her flirt,or put her in her place. My issue wasn’t her flirting, it was whether or not he responded to it. That doesn’t change the fact that I couldn’t stand her ass, but I never once addressed her. I felt like it was his job. Even though she pissed me off, I refused to appear vulnerable or let her know she was getting to me. I had that ‘never let ‘em see you sweat’ mentality. He made his choice and we are still together. And if a similar situation arises in the future, I will still hold him mostly, if not fully, responsible.
El_Bougie1:This is a sad situation. People will say Mashonda shouldn’t be doing XYZ, but as long as she isnt busting windows I feel like she can address the situation,she is the wronged party. While it is indeed Swizz’s responsibility to uphold his vows, we as women need to stop feeling as though we have no duty to respect a union, but expect to ever have one. Even if Alicia wanted Swizz,she should have stepped back,stopped all contact & let him either fix or dissolve his marriage. That is what a respectable woman would do. You do not sing about Karma, A Woman’s Worth,Unbreakable, yet you putting out negative Karma, contributing to the demise of a woman’s worth and breaking up a marriage. It just does not work that way. As I stated before, separated is MARRIED with issues and we need to learn to respect unions if we ever expect to have one ourselves
Shelia:Girl you hit the nail on the head with this one! It takes 2 ppl to cross the line but as a woman, its your duty to fall back especially when you know that man does not and will not belong to you. Alicia Keys always singing about empowering our young girls and dedicating songs to single mothers yet her real life does not represent that of which she is singing. She needs to be a woman and own to up to what she did.
Kay:Thank you Jia! I was so frustrated with some of the women response that I saw on any blog that posted the twit from Mashonda.
I hate the whole “she don’t owe you anything” or “let him go.” Really? We as women know we are so sensitive, and when it comes to each other, we can be so unsensitive. Yes, the majority of the blame goes on her husband. But AK knew that they were married. Even if they had problems, that doesn’t give the right for the “other woman” to step it and say oh well..
That’s bullshit. That whole she don’t owe you anything I believe comes from those insensitive women who don’t respect a couple’s relationship. Get you a man that is not in a relationship. Karma is something I truely believe in. And nothing good would come out good of that relationship.. It may not be now, it can be years later. I was dissappointed in AK. Yea, I don’t know the circumstances but Swizz and Mashonda was married. It would of been different if the seperation was mutual. But Mashonda knew nothing about it..smh.
It’s just too much for me. I’ve been there so I know how she feels. Just as women we need to respect each others feelings
I know what it’s like to have a female try to get your man who knows good and well he’s yours! Not only because he’s told her and everyone you know in common knows, but all three of us were in the same organizations. Saw each other just about everyday. She tried for a good two years to come between us but thank the Lord he’s smart enough to know that I’m too good a thing to lose. Plus she’s a major downgrade, and I’m not just saying that because I have something against her. He’s my fiancee now and I’ll be darned if I let her passes slide now. I was civil then, but now…. don’t try me. Love ya Jia. Keep up the good posts. You know I just about schedule reading these? lol
JUJU:Well said. I was irked by some of the comments that I seen