One of my followers on Twitter told me that, tonight, she went out with her homegirl and her homegirl’s man and he basically tried to get at her on some slick shit. Her question was, does she tell or does she keep it to herself?
Having been on both sides, I will say that as the chick who is dating the guy…if he comes at any of my friends, I want to know. That shows me that he’s not trustworthy and really doesn’t value my feelings. That is important to me…and unless that “friend” has given me a reason to think otherwise in the past, I would believe what she says (assuming that she has been loyal before) and say something to dude about it.
On the flipside, I have been the friend that had a homegirl who was dating a guy (or girl)…and the guy (or girl lol) would try to holla at me on some slick shit. Now, I am many things…but one thing I am NOT is a chick that’d fuck my homegirls man (or woman LOL). Case in point…I use to be friends with a guy who screwed a girl who was my best friend. Now, the girl and I are still friends and up until recently, I was still friends with the guy that she had sex with (they were never a couple). During my time as a friend with the dude, he made several advances towards me. SEVERAL. But in addition to him (physically) not being my type, I would always say “Remember…you slept with ____ so that makes you off limits to me.” He would tell me he understood (but rarely stuck by his ‘understanding’) and that was that.
But back to what I said before…I have been friends with girls who happened to be dating someone and their someone would always try to holla at me. Even though SHE would not believe it at the time, I am not the chick to run behind my friends’ men (or women) be it past or present relationships. That’s just not my thing and never will be. But because she is (or was…who knows what the deal is now) the type to believe her partner OVER her friends, there was never a point in breaking the news that her mate tried to holla b/c she’d never believe me anyway.
I guess it depends for me…if I know that she is mature enough to understand that #1. I wouldn’t do her that way and #2. I’m only telling her to look out in the first place, then yes…I’d snitch. I’d want someone to snitch on MY dude (or girl haha) if the shoe was on the other foot. But there’s always that one girl who believes her man no matter what…and if you were to tell them that he said something “off” to you, she wouldn’t believe you anyway. And she’d work overtime and a half trying to tell you, him and the rest of the world that “you want everything she has.” Like I said, that’s just not my steez. I don’t even like my friends knowing anybody I’m fucking anyway b/c I dont want them to know what my peen-piece is like. So in having that mentality, why in the fuck would I wanna lay up behind YOU? THAT seems narcissistic to me. It’s just not the business to hear your girl talk about some dick on demand and then you run behind her to get a taste. Shit doesn’t even sound right….
So there.
COMMENTS
triflingness should NOT be rewarded
and in the words of sister Maya (nee Margeruite)
Angelou “When a person shows you what they are for the first time, believe them”!
Somebody say Amen to the EARLY Sunday morning sermon
Nicholina:That same thing happened to me, although I was the one whos friend made a move on her man……and suceeded! Fair enough, things weren’t EXACTLY rosy between me and said fella, but still! This FRENEMY of mine, she had sat there and listened to me gripe about him, get upset about him, tell her how much I liked him and hoped we could work our issues out….. Basically, another one of my FRENEMIES (who knew exactly what was going down behind my back) ended up telling me the deal after I confronted her and asked her about it. I knew I wasn’t going crazy. But you know what, I thought I’d be the adult in the whole situation and told my FRENEMY (who had been a long time aquaintance I’d broke bread with, lived with, helped out financially) that NO man was worth wreaking our friendship (well, what I thought was a friendship anyway) and I just hoped he didnt treat her like he treated me. The WORST thing of is was….after the fact, after I moved on…..this girl was then trying to go around and say that I was LYING about being with him…..that I was NEVER with him in the first place. I mean, I wasn’t secretive about the fact that she ran some slick shit behind my back to get what she NOW called “her man”….why the hell should I??? She also divulged private information to him about who I’d slept with and general stuff a girlfiend shouldnt be telling her man about her friends etc, just to make sure he didnt come back!
The girl in question is still SLEEPING with this man nearly 7 years down the line….and in that timescale, has found out that he has two grown kids, and a crazy baby mama who he STILL lives with, the girl has been also beat down in a club by ANOTHER girl who was sleeping with this guy and thought SHE was his woman, and lots of other stuff…..but yet my frenemy STILL states that this low life is her MAN! SHAM.F**KIN’.WOW! I hate to say it…but I think homegirl did me a favour.
Keep up the good work Jia….I love all your blogs!