So I’m sitting here bored and figured I’d update my personal blog. I want to try and remain consistent with it b/c it’s always been fun and therapeutic in a sense for me.

I think that we all have rules that we abide by when it comes to how we govern our relationships (be it friendship or romantic) and life in general. In no random order, I’d like to list a few of mine. These will mainly be pertaining to friendships because those have been on my mind a lot lately. So here goes nothing…

Always let them know their place
So there will never be any confusion, I always like for people to know their place with me. This isn’t to say that I send out some type of random email that basically shows bullet points on where you stand and how you got there. In arguments, I just don’t like leaving people in limbo. I despise it, even. I have had relationships that severed for one reason or another by that particular person’s choosing and it left me wondering “why?” I hate feeling that way. Don’t get me wrong…there are instances when you know that you’ve fucked up. You know it and so does Jesus but you still try to act like you’re without fault.* If there’s ever a moment where I feel as though a specific incident doesn’t sit well with me and it is cause for me to part ways, I’ll let you know. That way you’ll never have to ask around about why Jia feels the way that she does about you.

Be weary of people who blame everyone but themselves*
This is an extremely important rule for me. Have you ever had a friend who blamed EVERY shortcoming or downfall on EVERYTHING or EVERYONE BUT themselves? How many of you would be willing to admit that you are or use to be that person? I know I was. Anytime a bill didn’t get paid, anytime someone got mad at me, anytime I was fired from a job (uh, that only happened once, FYI hahaha)…everyone was to blame but ME. In my opinion, always pointing fingers is not only a character flaw that shows that you don’t know how to take responsibility for your actions but also an affront on my common sense. You really can’t think that I truly believe that you never make mistakes, right? I steer clear of people who can’t take responsibility for their own actions.

If they’re talking about their friends WITH you, they’re talking about YOUR ass too
Self explanatory. THIS song comes to mind.

Kindness is oftentimes the road less traveled
I can admit that I’m not always the nicest chick on the planet. It’s not my goal to be. Although I don’t believe that you should only be kind or polite to others with the expectation of reciprocity, I DO believe that if you feel people aren’t giving back whatever energy it is that you’re giving them, pink slip their ass. Plain and simple. There has to be a happy medium somewhere in all relationships that you pursue in life and if everything about your relationship (again, be it friendly or romantic) is one sided, fix it by walking away.

Don’t be afraid to proclaim your worth
This sort of goes hand in hand with the kindness…traveled bullet. If a person doesn’t value you and your efforts, why keep them in your life? If a person doesn’t support you and your visions, why bother? I can’t count how many times I’ve had conversations with people about the friends that they have in their life who always have such a negative spin on EVERYTHING that they say and refuse to support them. I’m worth more than a shoulder brush and deep sigh. If you are making changes to better yourself and you have people in your life who refuse to support your growth in becoming a better person, COMPLETELY erase them out of your life. You can’t get out of the barrel if you ALLOW a bunch of crabs to keep pulling you down. Shit on their asses and crypt walk on that barrel’s rim. They’re not needed.

Never be afraid to apologize
…especially when you know you’re wrong. Too often, we allow pride to get in the way. Sometimes, we feel “right” at that moment but when you take the time to think about it and realize that you made a big stink, put your ego to the side and apologize.

Stand up for yourself
I couldn’t reiterate this point more if Jesus had Judas spell it out in silver coins for you. I don’t feel that it’s necessary to go through life, bullying your way through. I do, however, feel that the more you allow people to determine how you feel or think, the less chance you have at someone taking you seriously. If there’s something you take issue with, speak up. If you don’t like the way someone is handling the relationship you have with them, speak up. If you feel that someone has caused you irreparable damage, speak it UP! Yes, sometimes it is best to walk away but it also feels good to walk away knowing that you stood up for you.

Others Negativity Mean NOTHING when it comes to God’s plan
Although I’m not an extremely religious person (I rely more on my faith), I do believe that God has the last laugh on everything. When people tell you what you can’t or won’t do, you shouldn’t question why they’re treating you the way that they are. Instead, ask, “Who are they to veto what God has for ME? Who gave them that much power?” Again, I’m human…words hurt. No matter what anyone says, they do indeed hurt. But that hurt should never translate into a disbelief in one’s self or your ability to be what you’re destined to be. A lot of times, people are so miserable with themselves that they find small contentment in making others feel just as bad (if not worse) than they do. That’s their way of coping. And although I feel that you ain’t got SHIT to prove to a hater, I do believe that your actions and success can let them know that God has the reigns on your life. Not them.

This is just a few of the things I wanted to blog about as I reflect on life and relationships. I’m sure I’ll add more as time progresses. I’m still growing and learning…

play victim