…umm, aside from the obvious. lol
So, I go out…meet guys who take an interest in a G. We exchange numbers, text* it up a few times and then nothing happens. A lot of times, it’s b/c I’ve made a decision a few words in that they’d get on my nerves. But most of the time…it’s me.
I can be honest with myself. Really, I can. And here are the top FIVE reasons why I’ll probably be single for a really long time:
5. I can’t cook. Let me rephrase. I CAN cook but I am not trying to cook huge ass Thanksgiving style meals. I’ll bake you some chicken. I’ll cook some spaghetti. Hell, I’ll even unwrap the Totino’s pizza for you and add extras to make it special. But I really have no desire to be in a kitchen for longer than a few minutes.
4. I’m probably more of a commitment-phobe than you. I don’t mind being involved in something committed but I also don’t mind us dating and getting a REALLY good feel (pun totally intended) for one another before we say “Okay, let’s make it official…and monogamous.” Relationships are cool but oftentimes, people rush into them. Quick in = quicker out.
3. I’m probably the girl that your mother warned you about it. I embrace my inner slut. Aside from previous *cough* job choices, I’ve never been one to suppress my sexuality. at. ALL. Yea, I can “put on” and be a lady when and if I need be…but I’m far more comfortable being my sarcastic, smart mouth, just like the boys, grabbing my nuts (and yours) self. Anything else is just faking it.
2. I hate talking on the phone. Most men find that to be a little weird for a chickadee but I really loathe it. The only people that I don’t routinely send to voicemail are my parents and siblings. Everybody else needs to send me a text first, telling me that it’s important and THEN I’ll answer. If you trick me once I’m on the phone, I’ll hang up on you. I dunno about your cell phone but my shit gets hot. And you’re not getting my home number. So….
Anyway, that is part of the “dating” process I guess…the getting to know you thing. How can you get to know someone in 160 characters or less? Most people become annoyed with my attitude on talking on the phone and the minute a man calls me out about it, I send him my final text. ‘We’re done-zo.’
And the final reason why I’ll be single forever….(and this is where I get semi-serious):
1. I just don’t feel that I have “me” together yet. It’s taken so long for me to even figure out how to come full circle and I still don’t feel that I’ve come even 180 yet. Yes, I’ve accomplished some things and have had several moments where I can say that I am proud. But I’m not as proud as I’d like to be…nor am I in a position where I feel that I would bring a LOT to the table yet. Yea, I’m a good girl, I can be monogamous, I’m smart and pretty much open to doing whatever you want in the bedroom. But there’s so much more. So until I feel that I have…no wait…until I feel that God has prepared me for the person I’m meant to be with, I’ll continue being single.
And I think I’m okay with that.
COMMENTS
i swear im just like you . this is crazy how do you know me lol ?
Honey:Notice how your number one reason says “together yet”… It’s hard to want someone when you’re not even sure who you are yet. So how can you know exactly what you want in a person? You won’t be single forever… There’s someone out there for everyone, as cliche as it sounds. Haha loved reading this post though ♥
Uglycleanbroke87:I think you just named the top 5 reasons for why I will be single forever as well.
Samantha:I can feel you on the cooking thing, I am the opposite with the sexuality thing…or really confused about how I should portray my sexuality because I am a sexual person, I am just more reserved about it. I know I have much more to offer but it just always ends up being that. One of the reason I feel like I might be single for awhile is that I know how being a girlfriend is suppose to look like, but real life application is no es bueno
Open Discussion: Can You Admit WHY You’re Single? | Miss Jia: She ain’t for everybody…:[...] did you ever have an ‘ah-ha’ moment that brought about some realizations? Click HERE to read my “single forever” post at my personal blog and let me know what you think. [...]
Shiftworker247:Addressing your concerns 5-1 in reverse order:
1. I can cook! I live alone and and don’t entertain at all…big meals are a waste of my resources.
2. Commitment? To whom? Just met and going through a learning process. 1 bad habit could be a deal breaker!
3. Let’s leave the mom factor out of this…no man/woman is good enough for her son/daughter EVER!
4. I hate phone talk… pick a place to meet for a date! A park, mall, coffee shop or bar. Date does not = sex.
5. My personal twist…I’m bisexual(male).
Gay men think I’m confused, Str8/Lesbian women think its disgusting. I have to be honest to any potential partner.
5. After reading my non-existant relationship(less) breakdown…FIND A DAMN PARTNER you can deal with and STOP being so damn picky!
i must say i agree with u,i am 24 yrs old n in a committed relationship for a yr now,but before that i was single fuh a long while,after a 3 yr relationship n an engagement,though my ex wanted me bk,it jus didn’t feel real,i wanted to be more than someone’s girlfren,to be my own person,to know my ins ,outs,fears without having a man to define me,n it felt good,i got to love myself,sex myself,laugh with myself,c myself from up above,sounds strange,it doesn’t ,it feels exactly that way,n after that long process,i got a man,i’m happy n if he ever decides to break it off,i;ll b the one who’s happy to rediscover myself all again,lol
kimberly:THE FACT THAT U JUST ABOUT PEGGED EVERY “SINGLE” WOMAN READING THIS BLOG,LEADS ME TO BELIEVE THAT I AM NORMAL!I SERIOUSLY THOUGHT IT WAS JUST ME! IM GLAD TO KNOW THAT IM NOT THE ONLY WOMAN ON EARTH THAT LOATHES TALKING ON THE PHONE!THAT WHOLE GETTING TO KNOW SOMEBODY PHASE,WHICH USED TO BE ROMANTIC AND EXCITING,IS NOW ANNOYING.HOW MANY MORE TIMES DO I SHARE THE INTIMATE DETAILS OF WHO I AM WITH A COMPLETE STRANGER AND THEN AFTER A WEEK,WE LOSE CONTACT!RELATIONSHIPS BURN OUT FASTER THAT A SPARKLER ON THE 4TH OF JULY,SO THE DESIRE TO GET INVOLVED,JUST ISNT AS URGENT AS IT USED TO BE.
KayKay:Amen girl amen…
Biglilkim:Honey you said everything I would have said. I am very monogamous and committed, and have only had long term relationships the longest being 15 years….so for 15yrs, I was putting another person’s needs and desires before my own..now that he is deceased I am celebrating me….just being me in all of my awesomeness….even tho I like the companionship sometimes but rare…being completely honest here…I enjoy spending time with myself…and at times I can be quite the anti-social one. Now, that Im doing me, I don’t want to make the time it takes to get to know someone new…plus I like it better this way…I read people well, and the ones who have approached me lately aint been about shit, so the most we can be is friends…plus I’ve found that a male friend will be completely honest with you until he decides he wants to be your man….and I value honesty more than anything. So, without being overly long. My reasons for being single are mostly selfish…I want to do me…love me…pamper me…and the other reason is I’m protecting myself…from the drama and the lies that inviting the wrong man in can bring. When the right man comes along he is going to have to knock me upside the head hard as hell for me to know its him….cause right now I ain’t even thinking about a muttha fugg’n man…
Destiny:I HATEEEEEEEEEE talking on the phone and cooking too! and my mom actually gets mad at me because of those things. “how the fuck are you going to get a husband if you dont wanna cook?” “Stop texting, its unlimited..talk on your phone instead!”
Laquita Wilson:A bold, confident woman is a force to be reckoned with. Even when we preach our likes about being single, if the right man/woman came along, all of our sermons would thrown out the window. You say you don’t have enough to bring to the table yet but a man/woman may feel you have more than enough. In my opinion, figuring out yourself is the only thing hindering you from being in a relationship. All the other things will not keep a man/woman that cares about you away. Loved this post. <3
Jia:Wow! This was an amazing comment. You really brightened my day with that. Thank you very much!
Je'Tara:Jia I was here last year and tonight I find myself wondering what my next relationship will be like. SMH I loved the number one reason because most people never get to know themselves but they still add others to the equation. Take your time because you have plenty of it.
Mirror:This is the story of MY LIFE! I’m glad to know I’m not the only one with a list longer than Chilli.lol Well maybe not as detailed but I think I come up with some of these excuses because I’m afraid of getting hurt (been there…no fun)and I always fall for the wrong type. I try to obtain the un-obtainable. And although Mr.RightNow is lots of fun… it gets old.I’ve come to the conclusion that what God has for me…is for me and hopefully me/I will have it together when he comes along.
hay:to be honest. there are pro’s and con’s about being both single and plus one.
the thing i like most about some of my single folks is single folks read more, are looking for different types of things, try different things etc. so you always have sumthin to talk about.
its always greener..
Mimarie:I definitely hear you girl! I think we both have the same skill level when it comes to cooking…I can make some mean grits if prompted! But in all seriousness, don’t change for nobody but yourself! It’s good that you realize you haven’t completely found yourself, and that you embrace that areas that you are aware of.
makedakaluwa:Girl you ain’t alone in this. I feel you on every thing you listed, the only difference is that I loathe to cook.
demure:…just know that one does not ‘learn’ how to come full circle as it is an ever evolving occurence, much like that of spirituality or religious growth….it’s never-ending. in that…your personal reflections on your ‘sangleness’ is full-circle in and of itself. remember, acceptance is the key to balance in any lifes’ situation as we must always strive to be content (not to be mistaken w/complacency) in any state we’re in…only then can we evolve into the next phase.
K:Jia- I LOATHE talking on the phone too girl – ugh!!! I tell my friends and fam all the time please don’t take it personal- its not you – i just dont like the telephone- I can talk all day long in person but holding the phone to my ear- naw- if we aint off in 5min i get irritated…
WellDamn24:I want a relationship, I just don’t want all the drama. And I don’t want a play-by-play about where it’s at.
nina:*SIGH* i have all of those problems too, and i keep hoping i’ll grow out of it (i’m only 21) and into relationships. idk why i think graduating college is going to turn me into a mature wifey type, but if you’re the same way at 30 and still successful, maybe not changing won’t be so bad lol
Tamz:YES! All this and more. This post is right on point for me. I’d post this on my facebook but I’m pretty sure that would her the very recent ex’s feelings.. so….. yeh. But YAAAAASSSSS