Ever since the launch of Kill Pink, I have had nothing but ideas. It’s crazy how many things have run through my mind over the course of a few weeks.

There’s this amazing loft office space that I looked at long before KP even had a name. I remember thinking of how perfect it would be as not only an office space but as a place where some of the stock can be kept (on racks). It has huge windows, several areas for desk space and then long walls where racks on racks on racks of things could be. I said (at that time), “Man, there’s no reason for me to look at this; I mean, hell I don’t even have a NAME yet.” And now I do…and the office space is STILL available. Maybe it’s a sign.

I’m in no rush to do any of that. But I’ve said for a long time that it’d be dope to have a place to go to not only get out of the house…but also to force me to put some hours in and really work…and really feel as though I’m working. Trust, I get it in here at the house but as I begin to consider getting a staff and interns, my house just won’t be a feasible spot for all that I’m trying to do!

I’m making a lot of positive strides. And even though there are people out there who don’t think that I deserve it, I feel very optimistic about the future. Maybe I’ll at least go LOOK at the place; it sure would be amazing to have!

If only I could get my life size Oprah photo in my signature colors. She’d hang in the office space where I could see her everyday and remind myself of the future.

Since launching my other business venture, I have been extremely busy. From 7 or 8 in the morning until the wee hours of the night, I am up to my neck in business. Don’t get me wrong; I am NOT complaining and happy to have the support. I just don’t have help right now. And because I don’t have help and am stressed out/overwhelmed, I have found that it’s much easier for me to eat those emotions than it is to just…deal.

Help isn’t easy to get. It’s all in who you trust and to what extent you’d trust them. There are people out there who would love to help just b/c they want to be a part of your ‘team’ to watch you grow; then there are others who would want to help with other motives in mind. How do you discern between the two? You can’t, really. They always say that it’s not a great idea to ‘hire’ friends but if not them, then who?

I’m very blessed right now. Extremely blessed that people love Kill Pink as much as they do. It’s really doing a lot better than I expected and it makes me feel good to know that my pre-efforts weren’t in vain. But being a one woman show is no joke. If anyone ever tells you differently, ask them to show you their magic wand and mini-Jesus they keep in their pocket. That’s the only way.

I recently started working out with two trainers here in Atlanta…Ellen & Lana Ector. I go 5 days per week. You can pretty much look at it as a bootcamp of sorts…we never do the same things twice. I’ve learned with Beach Body products that muscle confusion is often the best way to drop the weight.

Within the first 14 days of working out, I lost 11 lbs. Now that I’ve been lifting weights via my trainers, I’m not losing any weight…just inches. And I’m losing it all in my upper body and anywhere below my knees. Umm, hello fat…can you remove yourself from my thighs, please and thanks?

Even my eating has been on point. Admittedly I had something like Zaxby’s during my second week. But I felt so SICK after eating it that I said that I’d just leave the fried foods alone b/c they’re obviously not agreeing with my stomach these days. I still have sushi every now and then. That’s not too bad, right?

I haven’t been back to bikram since that one day. I did enjoy it and think it would be a wonderful addition to my current lil’ system…I’m just not sure how I can fit it in. We’ll see though b/c I think the stretching and muscle relaxing benefits will prove worth it in the end.

I’ve made a promise to myself that this time, I’ll stick it out. No matter what, I WILL hit the gym. I WILL continue working on my eating…and overall, I’ll just remember that a part of loving myself includes taking care of myself. I’ve neglected that for too long; it’s beyond to get (and remain) serious.

I’m usually not one to buy “hypes.” Coming from everything that I’ve come from, it’s oftentimes hard to convince me of anything. I’ve read many reviews about Body by Vi and thought for sure that it had to be bs…especially when it promised that I wouldn’t starve or have the same cravings as before. But it’s definitely working for me.

Nonetheless, the one thing that I’ve kept thinking about is the point where I just get bored…or tired. And that’s easy to do if you’re consistently doing the same thing over and over (I’m talking about working out here). During the first week (November 14th), I was on the elliptical machine for 46 minutes/workout. This week, I worked on the treadmill on a serious incline (no less than 8 out of 15, I believe). At the start of this week, I thought that I would simply go back to doing the elliptical machine but I know that I’ll want something different.

I’m not a member of a gym and honestly refuse to pay for it right now b/c there’s a “free” gym at my apartment. I’ve looked into doing group training sessions Monday-Friday at this gym near my house and although it’ll be a monthly fee, at least I’m paying for coaching…with a group….and we’ll do different things every single day.

Then there’s bikram: I LONG to complete 30 days. For one, it just “feels” good when I leave that class. Two, I love how ‘tired’ it made me afterwards and can only imagine how it’d be as time goes on. Three, the thought of it being a natural detox fascinates me. Four, I’ve never really had a thing for yoga but now I’m very curious to see how it’ll help me in the long run with my flexibility and five….the weight loss (be it water weight or otherwise; I really don’t care. Weight is weight).

Can you believe I literally sat here and tried to figure out how I can not only attend this group training 5 days per week but how I could also complete a 30 day bikram challenge? And I seriously figured it out. While variation is very important to me and my Cancer mind, I also don’t want to overdo it. I’ve rationalized it somewhat by saying that bikram, TECHNICALLY, isn’t a workout but more of a method of relaxation. So it’s not like I’d really be doing two workouts per day. But even if I did, so what? How uncommon is it for someone to work out twice a day?

I dunno, you guys. I want the training group b/c I feel that it’d give me more opportunities for versatility in my workout, which in essence would trick my body into not getting use to some norm. Two, it’d be a great way to meet new people. Working from home isn’t like going to an office everyday; I don’t have the luxury of meeting a lot of new folks so…yea *plays violin*

At the same time, bikram (the one time I went) was just amazing to me. I can’t even begin to describe how I felt when it was done. I felt relaxed. I felt really calm and I just felt…clean.

Decisions, decisions.

How many of you do two a days? If so, what’s your routine? Is there a particular reason why you work out twice per day? How many of you say “no” to two workouts per day?

Why is it that you lose hella inches before you lose weight?

8 lbs in less than 2 weeks is actually very good. Extremely good to be quite honest. And although it may primarily be water weight or something jazzy like that, weight is weight in my eyes. Whatever helps me slide into my jeans faster, I’ll take it. I’ve been consistently working out; even if it’s just cardio, I make sure that I move. I spend so much time sitting on my ass, typing online and what not. It’s just awesome to get up and out of the house and move.

Hopefully by Monday, I’ll be feeling all better so I can start my 30 day challenge with bikram yoga. I attempted to start this week but this cold/sore throat wasn’t having it. Although I feel like crap, I always feel ‘better’ when I sweat a little bit. Yea, it’s a dummy move to work out while you’re sick but…I just don’t want to get into the habit of ‘not’ going or skipping a day so often that it becomes impossible for me to catch up.

Speaking of inches…even though I seem to have lost quite a few of those, it’s not in the place I need it most….my thighs.

I have a love/hate relationship with these things. On the one hand, it fills out my jeans and makes me look more…juicy. On the other hand, I hate them b/c of that very same thing. Anytime I lose weight, I always lose it in my waist (which is really a place where I don’t need it as much), my shoulders (they start start to look kinda shiny and sharp…if that makes sense), my face, and any spots BELOW my knees. But these thighs, honey? They do not move.

I have to keep reminding myself that I have to be patient b/c if I keep it up, they’re sure to go somewhere. Maybe not at the speed that I’d like them to but they will. It’s just frustrating as hell to feel as though you’re killing yourself in the gym…and you notice changes everywhere BUT the place that makes you feel ‘fat.’ Yea, I’ll continue being patient but definitely expect me to rant a little bit every now and then about it.

So, of course many of you know that I’m launching Kill Pink. Although the original focus for Kill Pink was 100% on novelty tees, I’ve since decided to include leggings and bracelets (both beaded and macrame) with the brand.

In doing my research (and ultimately, being myself), I have found some really quality vendors. I also found that there are a ton of companies out there who make bracelets similar to mine. So I decided that I wanted to make sure that I branded each of my bracelets. Since everyone’s making them, I felt that if for SOME ODD reason someone forgot where they purchased their piece (or where their friend/family member got it for them), they could simply look down at their wrist and say Kill Pink. After going back and forth with different ideas for brands, I came up with about 6 that I felt would work for the bracelets that I wanted to sell.

So began the process of finding a manufacturer that could not only produce quality materials that wouldn’t tarnish or fade, but I also wanted to work with someone who answered emails in a timely manner, sent shipments when they said that they would and just…went above and beyond in ensuring that I, as the customer, was overjoyed with the final outcome.

I found Company X, Company Y, and Company Z. And while they all produced good quality, there was something about X that stood out a little more in terms of look and overall quality. We exchanged several emails, I was sent 3D photos of drawings that they’d done for each of the charms that I wanted. Everything was good.

I then make payment for the samples to be completed and this is where the problem began. It seems that after I made the payment for samples, the emails weren’t as frequent as I wanted them to be BUT I always got a response. After literally having to show my ass about the samples taking way longer than his company initially quoted me, he profusely apologized and said that it was because their company was extremely behind and the person who typically manages their email was out on maternity leave. I took that as being acceptable (although I probably shouldn’t) and my samples arrived. I was very pleased with what I received and gave them the greenlight to go into full production.

So I pay the remaining balance on the account…and please note that while I won’t tell you exactly what I paid, just know that it was a fairly large lump sump..of my OWN money (read: not charged to a credit card, not a loan, not a grant, not an angel investment…MY money). Production begins.

I then get an email on 11/14 saying that the charms were done and they also completed samples of some other pieces that I wanted. Cool. So I provided my address again to make sure that they had it. Days go by and no answer. I finally email them on Thursday the 17th to make sure that they had the address and to confirm that the package had been sent. I get an email on Friday the 18th, saying that the package will be sent on Monday the 21st. Monday rolls around, still no confirmation. Tuesday, nothing. So Tuesday evening, I email and ask if they had sent the package and if so, could he provide me with the DHL number. I don’t know what he THOUGHT I asked him in that email but he talked about everything BUT the DHL number.

I sent him a total of 6 emails asking for the DHL number. His response on the 5th email was saying something to the effect that they sent them but I need to understand that the quality of the products aren’t that good b/c of the material I chose.

Excuse me.

I approved the samples that you sent me…and those were only samples. What do you mean the quality wouldn’t be good?

Well, a few of the pieces may have come out sort of lopsided or with an incline but we sent them anyway.

So at this point, I’m pissed. Like, how in the world do you think that it’s okay to not only be late in sending products…but to TELL me that you did a pissy job on some of them and sent them anyway?

I tell him this and requested the DHL number again.

I will give it to you when I get it. For now, it can be a surprise when you get it.

Boy, what?

So….in addition to you sending the products way later than agreed upon in our contract, you said that some of the ones that you sent were defective…and now you’re refusing to give me a DHL number and telling me to be SURPRISED about shit that I paid for? Oh….

I email him the following:

Hello __________,

With that being said, I am giving you and your company APPROXIMATELY 48 hours from the sending of this email (at this point, I don’t care about it being your ‘weekend’) to respond with my DHL number so that I can track this package. If you refuse to provide me with that email, whether you’ve sent it or not, I will contact Paypal directly and let THEM process a refund for payments made thus far and you’ll be…as we say in America….fresh out of luck.

Approximately 31 minutes later, I get a response with my DHL number and basically a few lines where he’s kissing my ass.

Too late.

I know this….if I get this shipment and my branding charms are messed up, there will be smoke in the city. I am SO grateful that I followed my first instinct with ALL companies that I’ve dealt with and paid with Paypal as opposed to using Western Union or sending money orders. You have absolutely NO recourse when you use the latter but Paypal will get in that ASS over their customers and money.

I said all that to say….I don’t use other people as an excuse. Quite frankly, this has taught me to have a back up plan 2, 3 and 4 if I need it b/c if I had, I’d have my brands by now.

Either way, I tracked the package and it’ll be here Monday for sure. Companies like the one that I dealt with for these charms are the main reason why I will always strive to provide top notch service to anyone who patronizes Kill Pink. If you go to work everyday…no matter how it is that you make your money…and you choose to spend it on something that I’ve created in my crazy head, you and your money deserve to be treated with respect. It’s not optional.

I just needed to vent. I’m still under the weather and I don’t feel like going back and reading this long entry to correct errors. If you find some, point ‘em out.

Hope you all had a perfect Thanksgiving!