Top 10 Rant for Today
1. The Lord orders my steps on a daily basis but don’t test me. Just b/c He ordered my steps doesn’t mean that they can’t be redirected to curse your ass out for trying me. I dunno where people get these big ass nut sacs from but please note that, for the sake of my own sanity, I will generally let stuff go without going HAM on somebody for trying to be slick. I ain’t a gangsta by any means but I also don’t take any shit.
2. I hate when people randomly IM me dumb shit.
3. I hate when guys randomly text/call/appear. If you were barely there before, then your presence isn’t needed now. Disappear for good.
4. Unless it’s some peen I’m REALLY digging, I rarely backtrack. So please don’t ask that I give another shot to some shit YOU fucked up. Sorry but if you wasted my time once, you’re likely to do it again. Don’t “give me what I need tomorrow.” Give me what I need to-now and stop worrying about the future, bitch.
5. Some girls annoy me. And no, I am not on any she-woman hater shit. I could never be that way but I just don’t like shady shit that seems abundant amongst women.
6. Stop trying to play love connection to your favorite homeboy when it’s clear that you really want him yourself. I’m not stupid but I will entertain you for a while until I’m bored with you. I may play dumb at times but it’s only to watch you hang yourself. Once I’m annoyed, I either let you know or ignore the fuck outta you, depending on my mood.
7. And yes, I’m talking to you.
8. People, stop acting like you are blasting me about shit. Really. Not only does it get old but it gets annoying. Newsflash: I blast myself on a daily basis (be it obvious or covert). Say whatchu want about my past in porn but a bitch is making moves. Get something else to talk about, thanks! Unlike a certain “diva,” I don’t need to be discreet about shit. Take my mistakes and learn from them. I don’t call myself the sacrificial lamb for nothing.
9. Be great on your own. Stop leaning on everybody as a damn crutch. We see you. Really, we do. That’s why everybody gives you the side eye and keeps it moving because at SOME point in your life, you gotta stop worry about what others can do for you and figure out what the fuck you can do for yourself. And finally…
10. Don’t tell me that you’d ‘never do’ to me what I witness you do to other people. You’re already 45% untrustworthy because of gossiping all the fucking time but to know that I made a simple request that you showed NO regard for also shows me that you’re a liar, that my friendship to you really doesn’t amount to shit in your eyes AND you just bumped yourself up another 45% on the untrustworthy scale. Get a life and stop acting like a chick.
And that’s all.
Death of 13: Day 9
I didn’t work out today b/c my whole lower body is sore, PLUS I’m operating off of maybe 3.5 hours of sleep. I’m definitely gonna get to bed tonight…or at least try.
Today I had a ‘naked salad’ at QDobo and the shit was bombtastic. For breakfast, I DID fuck up and eat a sausage McMuffin (don’t front…you know those things are killer). I had a reason to…I had wack meat, so I needed a replacement!
Well tomorrow I will be working out…taking another cardio class (that actually mixes weights). Hope everybody has had a great week so far!
*muah*
j.
Death of 13: Day ATE
Again, a girl isn’t eating enough. I woke up this morning and had two boiled eggs (no yolk), wheat toast and juice. That’s all I’ve had all day and it’s now 6:34pm.
I literally forget to eat. I am NOT starving myself…at least not intentionally. I gotta get it better starting tomorrow. I’m gonna time my meals like I do my birth control (b/c if I don’t time that shit, TRUST ME, I WILL forget to take it and then oops).
One thing about me is that when I start working out, I lose water weight really quickly, so it starts to look as though I’ve lost a ton of weight pretty fast. Someone in class today commented “Dang, didn’t you just start coming? You look like you’ve lost already.” Trust me, its just water, honey!
I dunno what I’m about to have for dinner. Maybe a salad from Ruby Tuesdays? They have the best salad bar in the world, seriously!
Anyway, good news…kinda! I am officially moving back to Georgia by Monday August 31st. Let’s just say that something came open in ATL and something came UP in NC. Amazing how these things time themselves. Seriously…but for the better b/c I am ready to be back in Georgia. I’m so sick of NC that it’s pathetic. My time is up! Time for me to move on to bigger and better things.
Well, I hope you guys worked out today! I didn’t get my two in like I planned but please keep in mind that I had a lot over my head with the info I got regarding my move so…I’ve been all over the place within the past couple of hours.
Post your work out you guys! I’m getting it IN…what about you, babe?
Here Ye, Here You…
This is a public service announcement…
I am absolutely sick of doing shit for people. Real talk.
You don’t ask someone to engage you in YOUR shit that YOU are trying to make great…but get annoyed when they give you ways on making it easier to HELP.
One of my biggest pet peeves is when someone asks me to take on a project and they only send me bits and pieces at a time. I STOPPED working for someone else b/c of that same annoyance and this is no different.
Listen, I am busy trying to make my OWN life great…so if I’m doing that, PLUS trying to take on something on YOUR behalf, appreciate that shit b/c otherwise, I CUT IT THE FUCK OFF.
I ain’t perfect…never sent a twit, posted a bulletin, or let loose of a damn carrier pigeon that made such a claim. But I’m also not stupid, blind, or a damn liar about WTF has been communicated to me.
So this is my announcement…from HERE on out: UNLESS it has to do with www.missjia.com OR in some way enhances that site or something else that I’m trying to do, don’t ask me to do shit. People are so ungrateful and quite frankly, I’m tired of bending only for a mufucka to kick me in my back and tell me that I ain’t bending the right way.
Fuck that shit…then YOU bend, mutha fucka!
j.
You gotta ask the PRESSING questions
So tomorrow, I officially double up on the workouts. Curly hair in FULL EFFECT because boy, your girl sweats like a slave that ran away in the daytime. It’s not a game. So yes, tomorrow I’m gonna do either aquatics and a cardio class OR a weight training class with cardio. Size 7/8…I see you!
I was on Facebook today, which is uber rare for me and I noticed I had a friends request from someone that LOOKED familiar but I wasn’t 100% sure. I went ahead and accepted the request and he sent me a message, asking me if I remembered him. After studying a few of his pictures, I realized that I did recognize him and sent him a message back telling him so. Just to give you a little background, he and I had a falling out about a year or so ago. And yes, you SHOULD let bygones be just that but some people do some crap filled shit that I don’t have time for. I feel that when you invite certain things/people into your life, you ‘get’ certain things back in return. Well anyway, I don’t even remember what it was exactly that we were arguing about but I do remember him throwing low blows b/c of my past. After that, I told him that the conversation wasn’t worth having anymore and just term’ed the friendship.
Well fast forward to today. He’s asking me if I’m still in Atlanta and if so, where am I? I entertain him for a minute, telling him that I’m in NC but expected to be back in GA for good next month. He asked me where I planned on living when I got there; I gave him a general idea. He said that it’d be a good look b/c he “lives near that area and wanted a 2nd chance.”
*nigga pause*
First and foremost…it wouldn’t be a good look that you and I live near each other even if we WERE dating b/c I don’t always want to be bothered with anybody that I’m seeing but the most important question is: What in the world makes you think that “I” give second chances after the shit that you said? Yea, forgive forget…blah. But fuck that. You basically attempted to tell me off in the worst way possible…bringing up shit that I was HONEST with you (and hell, everyone else) about, playing those low blow games and NOW you want a second chance.
So I asked him…what made you want to FIND me on Facebook and ask me that?
Must be running out of options. Pressing questions…yes.
The guy that’s for me hasn’t dated me yet. I ain’t running SHIT back.
j.
Guess I’m Making it My Business
A couple weeks ago, I talked about a friend that I went to high school with. As a quick recap, I said that she and I were always in competition b/c the bish was smart as hell. She was really pretty and just always had her shit together. We were also neighbors. I had been hearing talks from people in passing by that she was doing REALLY bad now…drugs being the culprit. So I decided (again, several weeks ago) that I’d make it a point to at least try> to talk to her and swore that if she ignored my gesture, I’d let it go and give it to God.
Well, I was out today getting the face jewelry changed out. Normally, I take a right out of the parking lot and then bust another right to head towards the crib but for some reason, I turned LEFT out of the parking lot today. As I turned my radio on, I even said out loud “I dunno why the hell I’m going the long way.” But just as I was pulling out, I looked to my right a few blocks into the drive and see a red Isuzu Trooper, black male driving it…and my friend sitting in the passenger seat. I was like “That’s her…I know it is.” As stupid as this may sound, I followed the car. I didn’t know where they were going or, if they noticed me following, what they would do. I just wanted to see her, ya know. *cries*
Anyway, they finally turned off to this road, he let her out and pulled off. I already knew what just popped off. I pulled up in front of her, she looked in my window and was like “OMG…girl I haven’t seen you in years.” I wanted to cry right then but I couldn’t…I was just happy she recognized me but just to make sure, I made her say my name. She was like “Of course I remember you girl…you still look the same.” And actually, she did too. I mean, you could tell that she was on something but she was still very pretty. So I said “You already know what I’m gonna say right?”
“I know, I know…R___ already told me you were looking for me. I just stared at her. Even though I know that my own life hasn’t been picture perfect since we graduated, I still couldn’t understand how anyone…well, how SHE could get that bad.
“What is going on? How have you been?” She lied and said that she was good, while she rocked back and forth. I literally wanted to push her into the car and drive the hell off. I look down a little bit and she’s pregnant. So I asked her if she was hungry. “Let me take you to get something to eat. She told me lies that she had just ate. But then she asked me if I could give her a couple bucks. At that point, I couldn’t take it anymore, ya know? I just started crying and told her that I can’t do it. I can not, I won’t contribute at ALL to her habit. She promised me that she wouldn’t use the money for anything other than ‘savings’ but I didn’t believe her. A few minutes into our conversation, another truck pulled into the road where we were talking and she said “OMG I gotta go. That’s my…I gotta go.” And I just cried even more b/c it hurt me to see my friend…a real friend in that condition. It hurt like hell. I don’t think I’ve cried this hard (or this long) for a while now. She hugged me and told me she loved me…ran and got into the car. She threw up the phone signal and said “I’m gonna call you! I promise.” More lies…she didn’t have my #. So I asked her to get out of the car and get the number. She told the driver to hold on…she ran back to the car and I wrote my number down.
Please please please call me. Seriously. She said that she would and although I don’t believe her at all, there’s still this small glimmer of hope that she will.
I know that I said I’d give up. But I feel invested now. Everybody says that you can’t change people when they’re that down and out. Maybe my faith is a little bigger than a mustard seed b/c I think she can change. It truly breaks my heart to see her in the condition that she’s in and through tears, I’m writing this blog right now to say that I can’t give up. If you guys knew what she was like in school, you’d understand. Yes, people have to want to change and it’s going to be up to her to REALLY go for it. But it’d literally eat away at me everyday to know that I heard about it, I knew about it, I SAW her…I touched her. I saw her belly…and I turned away like none of it ever happened. I swear I have not cried this hard in so long…the shit hurts.
see you guys later,
j.
PS: yes I worked out today. kickboxing. headache now so I’m gonna lay down.